Bonus: Four Things that Can Derail Women in Divorce
Hi, I'm Michelle Smith. I'm a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, founder of Wife2CFO, and I've been a financial advisor for 30 years. I have dedicated my career to ending gender-based discrimination when it comes to money. As important, I have dedicated the last six years of my career evening the playing field for women going through a divorce. I see four things derail women regularly when they're going through a divorce, and I want to help you avoid that.
#1: Don't leave a cost of living adjustment not discussed in your divorce for purposes of child support. What does that mean? I'm pretty sure children get more expensive, not less expensive to raise. The younger they are, the more expensive they're going to be because it's longer until they emancipate. Have the discussion about having an annual increase to your child support to keep up with inflation and their rising needs.
#2: Too often, your spouse in the beginning, middle or end of your divorce may try to disparage your attorney or your financial team in your divorce to try to get you to listen to him instead of them. If you have a competent team and you know that, do not listen to this and not do not be sidetracked with his seemingly good advice to get you to listen to him versus solid legal and financial advice in your divorce.
#3: What are your goals? What are your divorce goals? Do you know them? Does your lawyer know them? Not knowing your divorce goals and not writing them down doesn't enable you to separate out the emotional issues from the financial issues.
More important, your attorney needs to line up behind what you want and give you a check on whether it's even legally possible. Be clear on what your goals are, communicate them and make sure that everyone is lined up behind them.
#4: This is a biggie: You're not going to win a medal, certainly not the gold medal for being the easiest or the nicest person to ever divorce on the planet. This does not mean be a raving lunatic. This means do not think that if you start this by saying, I want to be overly fair and overly generous and overly nice and overly kind, because I think this is going to get me a premium, you're probably wrong. Equitable means equitable to you and fair to you. Given the backdrop and fact pattern of your marriage, don't leave something on the table that's fair to you because you want to appear nice and kind. I hope these tips helped you out. I've seen this for years. I know these four things are critically important to pay attention to. And I want to not only help you, I want to help anybody who needs to hear these. So please pass this video along to any woman you know need support during her divorce. If you want to learn more, feel free to email me or check us out on wife2cfo.com